Hide And Seek
by Taz Maniac
Summary: ::COMPLETE:: Carter knows something is wrong with Abby, but can he figure out what it is before it's too late? ::Carby::
1. Bliss

Chapter 1  
  
"What time do you get off?"  
  
I turned towards him, a smile involuntarily coming to my face. "I'm off now. I was just leaving."  
  
His face fell. "I'm on til five," He said woefully. "I'll come over to your place after I get off though, okay?"  
  
"Sounds great." He leaned down to kiss me.  
  
"Ew, gross," said Susan, entering the room.  
  
Carter laughed. "Mind your own business, Susan," he said, then resumed the kiss.  
  
"Oh, and by the way, DOCTOR Carter, there's two traumas coming in so you might want to get out here." Smiling smugly, Susan left the lounge.  
  
Carter sighed. "Well, I guess I gotta go. See you tonight, Abby. Or really, tomorrow."  
  
"Bye John," I said, waving. As soon as he walked away, Susan returned to the lounge. "Oh, you guys are so cute," she murmured, making herself a cup of coffee.  
  
"Didn't you say something about two traumas?" I gestured towards the still swinging door of the lounge.  
  
Susan shrugged. "Made it up. There's a woman with an infected toenail, and I guess that's sort of a trauma."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right," I said, grabbing my coat from the table.  
  
"Hey, you can't leave now! I came in here so I could get the inside scoop."  
  
"On what?"  
  
"You and Carter!"  
  
"There IS no inside scoop! We're a happy couple, period."  
  
Susan leaned across the table. "Chuny said you guys had a fight last night," she whispered confidentially.  
  
"It was no big deal. He came back and apologized like twenty minutes later." Susan didn't look convinced. "I'm really happy with him, Susan. Happier than I've ever been with anyone else. It's like we were meant to be together and how did you manage to get me to trail off into the land of romantic drivel?"  
  
Susan smiled. "Now, that's what I like to hear!" she said enthusiastically, ignoring my last comment. She drained the last of her coffee. "Well, I've heard enough. I'll go spread the word that you guys are still together. I'm sure everyone will be delighted." She threw her coffee cup away. "Well, everyone but Chuny. She's gonna lose that ten bucks. I TOLD her you guys weren't broken up, but nooooo, she had to find out the hard way. "  
  
"It's good to know my friends are concerned about my well-being," I said sarcastically, leaving the lounge before Susan could pressure me for any more information. As I walked out of the ER doors, I saw Carter's back as he went down the hall, and I had to restrain myself from calling out for one last goodbye.   
  
What I told Susan was true. John and I really are happy together. In fact, I can't recall a time in my life that I've ever been happier. Every morning when I wake up, I remember that I'm going to see him today and it puts me in a good mood. It seems like for once in my life everything is going well.  
  
I was almost whistling as I boarded the El.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
When I woke up, I was thinking about Carter. What time is it, I wondered. I flipped over in bed and looked at my clock. 3:08 AM, it said. John's not off work yet, I realized, disappointed. He will be in two hours, though. I can't wait until he gets here.  
  
Maybe I could make him breakfast. That would be nice. Coming home after a hard day's work to a nice warm meal. I started planning a menu in my head.  
  
Suddenly, I realized something. "I don't have eggs," I whispered into the quietness of my apartment, like I was confessing some great sin. What kind of breakfast would it be without eggs? I considered just forgetting the breakfast idea, but I had kind of grown attached to it. It would really be nice. I decided to go to the store and get the eggs.  
  
Crawling out of the bed, I pulled on a sweatshirt and jeans. I didn't need to look nice; I was just going to the convenience store. Grabbing my keys, coat, and a five dollar bill that was lying on the table, I headed out the door.  
  
I walked up to the local 7-11, and now I was actually whistling. This breakfast was going to be perfect, I decided. And even if the food wasn't, the company would be.  
  
I smiled as I pictured Carter coming into the house, all tired and worn out, and discovering the nicely set table with a beautiful breakfast laid out on it. I couldn't wait.  
  
I stopped whistling when I got up to the sign on the door of the 7-11. CLOSED, it said. "I thought this store was supposed to be open 24-7?" I grumbled to no one in particular. There wasn't another store that sold eggs for half a mile, so I considered just going home. No, I wanted to make John breakfast. I had gotten so carried away with the idea now, that it would be a colossal disappointment to me if I couldn't do it. I turned around and headed for the next nearest grocery store.  
  
I had gone about two blocks when I heard footsteps behind me. Who was that, I thought, quickening my steps. I heard the footsteps again, this time closer. My eyes darted around for someplace I could go into for protection from whoever was following me, but everyplace was closed at three in the morning. Except for the person behind me, the street was deserted. I was beginning to think that maybe going to the grocery store wasn't such a good idea.  
  
I know that when someone's following you, you're supposed to turn around and look at them to let them know you're aware, but I was so scared I could barely walk. Finally, I realized I would have to turn around. I stopped abruptly and turned to face my attacker.  
  
A huge man, more than 6 1/2 feet tall, was walking quickly up to me. When he saw that I had seen him, he started running. In my direction.  
  
I tried to turn and run, but my feet wouldn't work, and I tripped and fell. Fear overcame me as the man approached me. 


	2. Pain

Chapter 2  
  
He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me close to him, so I couldn't turn around. He smelled like sweat and stale beer, and I thought I was going to be sick.  
  
"Gimme your money, lady," he growled into my ear.  
  
"I-I have five dollars in my pocket, but that's all I have," I stammered, my heart threatening to pound out of my chest.  
  
"Yeah, right. Look, you wanna live, hand over the money." I saw something shiny in his hand, and gulped when I realized what it was. A knife.  
  
"I swear, I don't have anything. I was just going to the store and I just grabbed five dollars, I swear." I babbled, saying whatever popped into my head. I didn't want to die. I was terrified that I would never see John again, that the last person I would see would be this mugger.  
  
"What DO you have?" he said, and I could tell he was getting mad. I wished I had something to give him, something that would appease his anger and possibly spare my life.  
  
"I don't- I don't have anything, I was in bed and I just-"  
  
"SHUT UP!" he yelled, throwing me to the ground. I couldn't keep myself from screaming as his foot slammed into my ribs.  
  
"I can't believe this. I picked the one that doesn't have no money," he said angrily, and he kicked me again.  
  
"You got any money now?" he yelled, sure I was holding something back.  
  
"No! I don't have anything-" another kick rolled me onto my back. I moaned in pain as I felt blood oozing over my stomach.  
  
"Well, let's see what you DO have," he said, with an evil glint in his eyes.  
  
______________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Carter, can you take this guy? Low fever, complains of chest pain-"  
  
"I am OFF," I said, interrupting Weaver's monologue. "I think Chen's still here; get her to take it."  
  
"Nobody wants to work around this place," Weaver grumbled as the paramedics wheeled the patient by me.  
  
Walking into the lounge, I whistled as I stuck my stethoscope into my locker. I couldn't wait to get home to Abby. After a 14 hour shift, I just want to crawl into bed, preferably not alone.  
  
I made it to Abby's apartment in record time. Sticking my key in the door, I tiptoed into the apartment. "Abby?" I whispered, not wanting to wake her if she was sleeping. "Abby?"   
  
I walked into the bedroom. The sheets were messed up, like she had just gotten out of bed. Maybe she's in the bathroom, I thought. But she was not.   
  
I stood in the middle of the room, puzzled. Where could she be?  
  
Just then, my beeper went off. I knew who it was, but I looked at it anyway. Sure enough, it was the ER. "Oh, give me a break, I just got off!" I said, exasperated. But it said 911, so I knew it must be an emergency. I called the ER.  
  
"Hellowho'sthis?" said a harried voice.  
  
"This is Doctor Carter," I responded.  
  
"It's Doctor Carter," the voice said. I heard the sound of the phone switching hands, then, "Carter? It's Kerry. I know you just left, but we just got slammed. Two traumas, with four on the way, and only three doctors. I normally wouldn't call right after a shift like this but..."  
  
With a sigh, I said, "I'm on my way." As I walked out the door, I wondered if maybe Abby had been summoned to the hospital too, and that's where she was.  
  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
Abby moaned and rolled over onto her side. Where am I, she wondered. The sharp pain shooting up her side brought back to her memory the man kicking her in the stomach, then punching her...and finally running off when he heard a siren. She had passed out, and now, she was laying in the middle of the alley he had dragged her into.  
  
The sun was up, but Abby didn't know what time it was. The man had taken her watch. Her shirt was soaked with blood. She shifted her body to try to get up, and pain shot through her. He had kicked her in the stomach so many times, she probably didn't have an unbroken rib left in her body.  
  
As Abby finally stood to her feet, tears came to her eyes. Even breathing hurt so badly that she would have stopped if she could. She staggered to the end of the alley, and felt so dizzy she thought she would collapse.  
  
Her apartment was only a block away, but it seemed more like a mile. Finally, she got to the familiar stairs. When she got into the apartment, she locked the door and put the chain on.   
  
Abby crumpled onto the sofa, and gave another yell as a flare of pain shot up her side. Now that she was inside, she dared to look at her injuries.  
  
It was worse than she thought it would be. Her entire stomach was covered with bruises, and parts of it were still bleeding. The rest was covered with a crust of dried blood. A tear dripped onto her stomach, and Abby realized that she was crying.   
  
I'm such an idiot, she thought. Why did I have to go out at three in the morning by myself? Was it worth it, to get those eggs for Carter?   
  
A sob escaped Abby's mouth, and she buried her face in the pillow, trying to smother her tears. I guess I should have expected this, she thought. Things were going so well, I guess I was due some misery. I've never had any happiness in my life that wasn't snatched away as soon as I got it. I don't deserve to be happy. I've had so much fun being with Carter, but I should have known something was going to come along eventually to mess everything up. That's the way my life always is.  
  
A stab of pain shot through her ribcage, and Abby gasped aloud. She started to lay down on the sofa, hoping that would ease the pain, but then remembered that she was covered in blood. So she laid down on the floor instead, and waited for the pain to subside.  
  
________________________________________________________________________________  
  
"Time of death, 7:31," Carter said, exhausted. He had now been working for more than 16 hours. He was so tired he probably could have slept standing up.  
  
Carter went into the lounge and crashed on the sofa. He was just falling asleep when he heard a voice ask him, "Carter, do you know where Abby is? She's the only one who didn't answer the 911 page."  
  
Carter sat up, now awake. "No, I haven't seen her since last night. I went by her apartment but she wasn't there."  
  
"Well, she better have a pretty good excuse for not showing up," Weaver said, walking out of the lounge to try and hunt down the other errant employees.  
  
I wonder where she is, Carter though, now beginning to get a little worried. She did say she was going to be at home last night, didn't she?  
  
Grabbing the phone in the lounge, he dialed her number. He got her machine. "Hi, Abby, this is John. Just calling to check on you cause I didn't see you last night. Call me as soon as you get this. I love you. Bye," he hung up the phone. Then he went to find Susan. "Susan, did Abby say anything to you about going anywhere last night?" he asked her.  
  
"She said she was going home," Susan remembered. "Why?"  
  
"I went to her apartment and she wasn't there. And Kerry said she's the only one who didn't answer the 911 last night."  
  
Now it was Susan's turn to look worried. "Do you think she's okay?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know. I just called her apartment and she's not there, or she's not answering. I'm gonna go look around, see if I see her anywhere." he left the ER, looking for Abby.  
  
  
  
________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
"Hi, Abby, this is John. Just calling to check on you cause I didn't see you last night. Call me as soon as you get this. I love you. Bye,"  
  
Abby felt tears come to her eyes when she heard the message, and she couldn't remember the last time she had cried this much in a day.   
  
She had let Carter down. She had been a complete idiot, and as a result had almost gotten herself killed. She couldn't bear the thought of telling him how stupid she had been. She could just imagine him looking at her with disgust, saying, "And you went out by yourself in the dark for EGGS?!?"   
  
She could see how stupid it was now, but last night all she could think of was how nice their breakfast was going to be. So she had gone out onto the streets of Chicago by herself. At three in the morning. She was lucky she hadn't gotten killed.  
  
Abby lay there on the floor wallowing in self-pity until she heard a knock at the door. With a start, she tried to get up from the floor, but the pain was so devastating that she fell back down.   
  
"Abby? Are you there? It's John."  
  
Carter! She couldn't let him see her like this! Suppressing a moan, Abby crawled across the floor army-style, her stomach screaming with pain.   
  
Sure enough, she heard Carter's key in the lock a few seconds later. NO! she thought, trying to crawl faster but failing. Then, she heard a sound like the door catching on something. The chain! She had forgotten that she put it on! Sighing with relief, Abby stopped crawling and rolled onto her back. She would be safe now. Lightly massaging her sore stomach, she lay there quietly and waited for Carter to go away.  
  
"Abby?" Carter said through the two-inch crack in the door. He knew Abby had to be home; how else would the chain get on? But for some reason, she wasn't answering the door. He was about to bang on the door again, when a thought occurred to him. Maybe she was asleep. That would be a good reason for not answering the door. Now that he thought about it, that was the only reason that made sense. He lowered his fist. He could come back in a few hours; she should be awake by then. After re-locking the door, he walked away.  
  
Abby sighed with relief when she heard his retreating footsteps, then asked herself, What am I doing? Why am I hiding from my boyfriend like he's my worst enemy? She thought about it, and realized it was because she didn't want him to know. Telling him would only be proving to him that she was a complete idiot, and she didn't want to do that. There was, really, no purpose in telling him. So Abby made up her mind. She wouldn't tell Carter that she had been mugged. The bruises would go away in a few days, then she could pretend like nothing ever happened. 


	3. Hiding

Chapter 3  
  
"You ever get a hold of Abby?" Susan asked, walking into Curtain 1.  
  
"What?" Carter said, distracted.  
  
"I said did you ever get a hold of Abby," Susan repeated.  
  
"Um...no, not yet." Carter said.  
  
"Have you heard anything from her?" Susan pressed.  
  
"Well..." he really didn't want to tell Susan this, but she was Abby's friend, "I went over to her house and the chain was on but she wouldn't let me in."  
  
"Oh! So she's okay." Susan was relieved, and didn't understand why Carter still looked so worried.  
  
"Not necessarily."  
  
Susan was confused. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked.  
  
Carter sighed. Was he going to have to spell it out for her? "I went to her house at 5 AM and she wasn't there. Now why in the world would she be getting home after five and going to bed?"  
  
"Oh," Susan said, the truth dawning, "You think she-"  
  
"Yeah," Carter interrupted.  
  
"What are you going to do?"  
  
"I guess ask her about it when she gets in."  
  
Just then, Haleh walked into the room. "I thought you were off today," Susan said.   
  
Haleh rolled her eyes. "I WAS, until Weaver made me come in and work for Abby. She must think that none of us have a life outside of Cook County General!"  
  
Carter suddenly realized what Haleh had said. "Wait a minute, Abby isn't coming in?" he asked, looking worried.  
  
Haleh nodded. "Weaver said she took today and tomorrow off. SOMEBODY'S gotta work that time."  
  
Carter shook his head. He didn't want to believe it, but it appeared that his worst fears were true. Abby had started drinking again. Why else would she be taking sick days? She was fine 12 hours ago.  
  
Susan looked at Carter. "What are you going to do?" she asked him.  
  
With a determined look on his face, he said, "I'm going over to her apartment, and I'm gonna get some answers."  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Abby was awakened by the pain in her side. She opened her eyes and realized that she was still laying on the floor in her bloody clothes. She didn't want to get up, but she couldn't stay here forever, could she?  
  
Then again, maybe she could. She would just slowly cease to exist. And she would never have to move her painful body again.  
  
But Abby realized that that wasn't going to happen, so she tried to get up off the floor. Twice. It didn't work. Her limbs had stiffened, and every time she tried to move them, her bruised stomach cried out in protest.   
  
So she laid there on the floor. For hours. She slept intermittently, but was usually awakened by her pain. She considered trying to get some aspirin from the medicine cabinet, but that probably wasn't strong enough anyway. So she just dealt with it.  
  
Many hours later, (she wasn't sure how many,) she heard another knock at the door, and she knew who it was.  
  
Sure enough: "Abby, it's John. Are you in there? Are you okay?"  
  
Abby winced at his last statement. Why was he worried about her? She didn't deserve his worry.  
  
His insistent banging continued, and Abby closed her eyes, waiting for him to go away. She knew she was being cruel by letting him worry and not saying anything, but right now she didn't want to have to try and explain to him what had happened. So she just ignored him.  
  
She wasn't mad at him, she was just frustrated with the whole situation. It seemed so stupid and unfair that she had gotten mugged the ONE time she went out at night, so she just decided to pretend it had never happened, and maybe it would go away. Telling Carter definitely would not make it go away. It wasn't very logical, but Abby wasn't thinking very logically at the moment.   
  
"Abby? Please say something. I just wanna know if you're okay," said Carter, standing outside the door. It had been ten hours since his last visit, so he knew she could not still be sleeping. But yet she was still here, hiding behind the chained door. Carter knew that something was terribly wrong, and he wasn't leaving until he found out what it was.  
  
He banged on the door again. "Abby! Let me in. I want to talk to you." He surveyed the small patch of the apartment visible through the two-inch gap the chain made. He saw no sign of Abby, or any bottles or wineglasses. He also couldn't smell any alcohol, but she might be drinking vodka.  
  
He pressed his ears to the door, and heard a gasp. It was quiet, but it was definitely a person. And who could it be but Abby?  
  
Inside the apartment, Abby cursed herself for her lack of self-control. But the pain had hit so suddenly, it was all she could do to stifle her cries to a gasp. But Carter had heard it.  
  
"Abby?" His voice was urgent now. "Are you okay? Can you hear me?" Abby prayed that he would just go away and leave her alone.  
  
Then suddenly, it got quiet out there. It was a scary kind of quiet, and Abby wondered what he was doing out there. In a quiet voice he said, "I'm about to break down the door. If you're in there, then tell me to stop."  
  
Abby hadn't even considered that he might just force his way into her apartment. The chains were quite flimsy, and one good shove would probably be enough to break it. Abby couldn't let that happen. But before she could decide what to do, a wave of pain engulfed her body, and she cried out before she could stop herself.  
  
Carter heard the cry, and knew it was Abby. "I'm coming!" he said, putting his shoulder to the door and preparing to shove.  
  
"NO! Don't! Don't come in!"  
  
Carter stopped at the sound of her voice. She was okay! he thought happily. Then he got mad. Why hadn't she opened the door? Did she enjoy sitting there listening to him beg?  
  
"Abby? Are you alright?"  
  
"I'm fine," Abby lied, gritting her teeth against the brutal pain. What she wouldn't give for some Morphine right now.  
  
"Open the door!" Carter yelled, anxious to verify for himself that she was, indeed, alright.  
  
"I'm fine. You can go now," Abby said, aware of how cold her words sounded. She wasn't trying to be mean; really, what she was trying to do was keep herself from crying.   
  
Carter stared at the door, because he couldn't stare at Abby. He couldn't believe her! She just sat there and listened to him beg for her to open the door, and when she finally says something, it's to tell him to leave!  
  
"So why didn't you open the door? Today or last night? And why didn't you return my calls? And why did you take two sick days from work?" He waited impatiently for her to reply. She did not. After several seconds, he said, "Abby?" She still didn't respond.  
  
He considered breaking down the door, but what was the point? She had made it quite clear that she wanted him out of her business. Carter had no idea why; she seemed perfectly happy last night at County. But now she was dismissing him like a servant boy. He had established that she was alive; maybe it was time for him to go home.  
  
With slow, heavy steps, Carter walked back down the stairs to Abby's apartment. 


	4. Confrontation

Chapter 4  
  
Carter wasn't sure how to act around Abby when he saw her at work two days later. So he decided that slightly cool would be the best attitude. He wasn't sure what was wrong with her, but he was still mad that she hadn't opened the door.  
  
She looked tired, liked maybe she had lost weight in the past two days. Carter feared that his suspicions were true, and that she had started drinking again. She sure looked like it.  
  
"Hey, Abby," Susan said, walking into the lounge where Carter and Abby were sharing an uncomfortable silence. "What happened to your face?"  
  
Carter swiveled around to see what Susan was talking about. Abby had a large bruise on the side of her face, going down into the collar of her turtleneck.  
  
Abby subconsciously pulled her turtleneck higher. Her bruises had gone down enough that she could walk without pain, but she was still sore. She had even considered taking another day off work, to give her face some more time to heal, but she had finally decided to just blame it on a rowdy patient.  
  
"Crazy patient, kicked me in the face," she said, trying to look towards Carter discreetly and see if he was listening. He was, but he pretended not to be when he saw her looking at him.   
  
She felt really bad about telling him to go away, but she still didn't want him to find out what happened. She couldn't think of a good excuse that would explain why she wouldn't let him in, so she didn't know what to say to him. She figured he was probably still mad, and he had a right to be.  
  
"I gotta go. My break ended five minutes ago," Abby said, exiting the lounge. Carter continued rifling through his locker and pretended he didn't notice Susan staring at him. Finally, he turned to her and said, "What?" in an irritated voice.  
  
"Aren't you going to talk to her?"  
  
"Well, she's the one who practically threw me out of her building. Don't you think maybe she should be the one to initiate the talking?"  
  
Susan looked at him. "Carter, if she's started drinking again, you know she's not going to come to you," she said.  
  
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Go back to her apartment and beg her to let me in again?"  
  
"No, you could maybe talk to her while you're both right here in the same building." Susan suggested this as if he was too stupid to think of it himself.  
  
"If she wanted to talk, she would've just now," Carter pointer out wearily.  
  
"So what are you going to do? Just ignore her for the rest of the time you're working here?" Carter sighed, but didn't respond. "We both know you love her, and she loves you too. Just talk to her, Carter. Find out what's going on. You guys were so happy just three days ago; are you gonna just throw that all away?"  
  
Carter thought for a moment. He knew Susan was right. He loved Abby, and he didn't want to just give her up. He feared that she had started drinking again, but if she had, he would help her through it. Even though he was mad, he didn't want to lose her.  
  
"Okay, I'll talk to her," Carter agreed.  
  
"Yes! Score one for Susan the matchmaker!" Susan said, smiling at her success. What would the couples at County General do without her?  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________  
  
Abby stood out on the roof, smoking. Normally, she would be leaning against the railing, but her stomach was still too sore for that. So she stood in the middle of the roof, back ramrod straight like a competitor for Miss Etiquette. She coughed, and her stomach clenched with pain. Maybe she would have to give up smoking until she was healed a little bit more. She threw the cigarette on the ground and took a deep breath of fresh air. She could breathe more freely, now that she had bandaged her broken ribs.  
  
She heard the door to the roof opening and knew who it was. Her heart started pounding as he approached. She wished there were something she could do to fix this; she didn't want him to be mad at her.  
  
Of course, there was ONE thing she could do to fix it: she could tell him what had happened. But it was too late for that now. He would want to know why she hadn't told him earlier. AND he would think she was a complete idiot for going out by herself at three in the morning. So she didn't tell him.  
  
"Hey," he said, as if they were just having another casual conversation, and Abby's heart flip-flopped as she remembered when they had had normal, fun conversations. She wished she could go back to that. But she couldn't, right now. What if they made up, then Carter discovered the bruises on her stomach and back? Then he would be even madder because she had never told him. So Abby had decided that they should put off making up until her bruises healed.  
  
Carter walked over to stand next to her. "Can we talk?" he asked, using the deep, serious voice that she loved. This was going to be harder than she thought.  
  
"Um, actually, my break's almost over so I better get back..." Abby said this as she edged towards the door, hoping to make a quick escape.   
  
But she didn't. Carter arm shot out, preventing her from walking any further. "Abby, we need to talk," he said quietly.  
  
"Quite true! And we can talk- later!" Abby moved towards the stairwell. She was almost there; freedom was near.  
  
"Have you started drinking again?" Carter blurted.  
  
Abby stopped dead in her tracks. "What?" she asked.  
  
"Have-you-started-drinking-again," Carter repeated it more slowly this time, which made her even madder.  
  
"NO! Of course not!" Now she was really mad.  
  
"Well how am I supposed to know? All I know is, you wouldn't let me in your apartment until I threatened to break down the door, and then all you say is 'I'm fine, go away'? And I go to your apartment at five in the morning and you're not there, then I come by twice and you won't open the door or talk to me until I force you to! What kind of conclusion am I SUPPOSED to draw from that situation?"  
  
"Maybe that I was sick and couldn't come to the door, but since you insisted on breaking the door down like an IDIOT I had to come out there to make you go away!" Abby knew her explanation wasn't very plausible, but it was the best she could come up with on short notice.  
  
Carter was silent for a moment. Then he said, "Is that really what happened?"  
  
Abby scoffed. "I guess there's no point in telling you, since you've already decided that I've fallen off the wagon again," she said bitterly.  
  
"Well, what was I supposed to think when you won't even talk to me? I was worried about you, and you couldn't even pick up the phone and tell me that you were okay!"  
  
"I apologize. I was too busy suffering to chat," she said sarcastically.  
  
Carter sighed. He wasn't sure what to make of this conversation. Was Abby telling the truth? Had she really been sick? He realized that her story was a possible explanation for what had happened. But where had she been when he came to her house? Maybe she was out getting medicine, he thought. But I had just seen her 12 hours ago, and she was fine! He had seen symptoms come on quick, but not that quick. He didn't know whether to believe her or not.  
  
Abby walked past him. "I have to go," she said, running down the stairs.  
  
"Abby, wait," Carter said, but she was already gone. He sighed. Well, at least this would give him some time to think about whether her story made sense. If it did, he would apologize later.  
  
Abby ran back into the crowded ER, glad to be free from his interrogation. She prayed that he had bought her story.  
  
Luka was speed-walking towards trauma one. "Abby, we'll need you in here," he said to her, walking in. She went in behind him. A man was laying on the table, flailing wildly, screaming about his rights. "Get some restraints," Luka said to Haleh, and she nodded and walked out. "Squeeze in the rest of that IV," Luka said to Abby. Abby nodded and reached for the bag suspended on the rack above her head, leaning onto the gurney slightly as she did.  
  
The patient chose that moment to kick his legs with all his might. His left foot hit Abby squarely in the stomach, and Abby screamed and fell to the floor, her slightly healed wounds all reopened. The pain in her stomach was so intense, she thought for a moment she might pass out. It was even worse than the original attack, because she was already injured.  
  
Luka saw the man kick Abby in the stomach, and when he heard her scream he knew that she had been seriously injured. He ran over to her and knelt down beside her. "Abby, are you okay?" he asked, concerned. 


	5. Truth

Chapter 5  
  
Abby was curled up in a ball on the floor, holding her stomach tightly. "I'm fine," she gasped out. She was not fine, but she didn't want anyone looking at her stomach. Even if they weren't suspicious about the bruises, the three broken ribs would surely draw their attention. So she pretended to be fine.  
  
Get up, Abby, she told herself. Get up and get out of here before they slap you on a gurney and put you in a gown.  
  
Just then, Haleh returned with the restraints. "What happened?" she asked, worried, looking at Abby on the floor.  
  
"The patient kicked Abby in the stomach," Luka said, trying to examine Abby's injury. But of course, she wouldn't let him. She couldn't let him see the bruises and bandages.  
  
"Want me to get a gurney?" Haleh asked.  
  
"No, Haleh. I'm fine." Abby grimaced as she stood to her feet. Black spots appeared in front of her eyes, and she thought, Please don't let me pass out in here.  
  
"You shouldn't be standing up, Abby," said Dr. Michaels, who had finally managed to subdue the patient.  
  
"I'm fine," Abby repeated, taking a shaky step towards the door.  
  
"Dr. Michaels is right, Abby. You need to sit down." Luka took her arm, and gently guided her towards a chair. "Haleh, go get a gurney."  
  
"No, I'm really alright," Abby said, pasting a false smile on her face. Then the pain overtook her and she doubled over.  
  
"No, you're not. Sit down," Luka said, pushing her into the chair. She was in too much pain to resist, but she promised herself that she would get up in a few minutes. She would NOT allow herself to get checked in as a patient under any circumstances.  
  
Then, as if Abby's luck wasn't bad enough already, Carter walked in. He saw Luka and Haleh standing by Abby, saw the pained expression on Abby's face, and how she was holding her stomach. "What's wrong?" he asked, forgetting that they had ever fought. All he knew was that something bad was happening to her, and he wanted to help her.  
  
"Patient kicked Abby in the stomach," Haleh said, glancing sympathetically at Abby, who let out an involuntary moan. God, her stomach was killing her. She just wanted to lay down for a while...  
  
"Why isn't somebody looking at her?" Carter asked, kneeling down beside his girlfriend.  
  
As if on cue, Abby said, "I'm fine. I just need to lay down."  
  
"Well, you can lay down right here," he said, motioning towards the gurney Haleh had brought. He tried to put Abby on the gurney, but she wouldn't let him. I can't get on that gurney, she thought. Once I get on there, I'll just wanna close my eyes and fall asleep. I have to get home.  
  
"No. I said I'm fine." She pushed his hands off her, foiling his attempt to put her on the gurney. She squeezed her eyes shut as another wave of pain hit her, and she let out a small squeak, clutching her stomach.  
  
"How hard did he kick her?" Carter asked Luka, trying to pull Abby's shirt up. She wouldn't let him. "Abby, let me see," he said.  
  
But she knew she couldn't. "I said I'm fine Carter. Just leave me alone!"  
  
Carter and Luka exchanged bewildered glances. What was Abby's problem? She was obviously in serious pain, but for some reason she wouldn't let anyone examine her.  
  
Carter tried to reason with her. "Abby, if you're in this much pain, you need to have someone take a look at you; you know that. You might have internal injuries, especially if it hurts that bad."  
  
Abby knew all this was true, but she couldn't explain her reasons for not wanting to be examined to Carter. So instead she said, "Look guys, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. Really. So you can just leave me alone now." She stood unsteadily to her feet, and both Carter and Luka moved to assist her. "I'm okay," she said, waving them off. "I'm gonna go home, get some rest."  
  
"Abby don't be ridiculous," Carter begged. "You could have massive internal injuries. Just let us do an MRI and an X-ray." He walked towards her slowly, the way one would approach someone suffering from dementia.  
  
"No. I'm fine. Goodbye." Abby walked towards the door of the trauma room. Then, pain shot through her ribcage and she leaned against the wall, wincing.   
  
Carter walked over to her and wrapped his arm around her waist, supporting her. Her pain subsided for a moment, and she breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"Abby, you know you're not in any condition to be going home. Now, I can get someone else if you want, but you need to have somebody take a look at you," Carter said softly.  
  
"I just want to go home," Abby said weakly.  
  
"I know. Just let me do the X-ray and MRI."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"I...I just wanna to go home," Abby repeated, knowing how stupid she sounded.  
  
"Well, you need to make sure you're safe first. You could have all kinds of internal injuries." Abby could tell that he was patronizing her now, and if she hadn't been in so much pain she would have been pretty pissed.   
  
"Just, just...let go of me, Carter," she said, finding a new strength inside herself. She pushed Carter's arms off her and stood up, legs shaking. "I'm going home. Leave me alone," she said, waving her hands to ward Carter off. She staggered out of the door, trying to look like she wasn't in excruciating pain.  
  
She walked into the lounge to get her keys. Carter followed her the whole way. "Abby, you know you can't go home. You need to get checked out."  
  
"I said I'm fine, Carter," Abby tried to open her locker, but lifting her arms hurt too badly. She stood in front of her locker and tried to figure out how to get it open without lifting her arms.  
  
Carter noticed her dilemma. He wondered why she was so adamant about not wanting to get checked out. He didn't like the hospital either, but he liked pain even less. Maybe the pain was making her delirious. Unfortunately, the hospital was not allowed to hold people against their will unless their life was clearly in danger, and Abby's was not. So he had to convince her, somehow, to stay in the hospital.  
  
Abby, meanwhile, had leaned against the lockers, because her stomach pain had flared up once again. She had no idea how she was going to walk all the way to the El station, but she didn't really have a choice. So she pushed herself off the lockers and walked towards the door. She couldn't get her keys, so she would simply get a spare key from her neighbor.  
  
Carter jumped in front of her, blocking her path to the door. "How are you gonna get home?"  
  
"El," Abby said.  
  
"And you're just gonna walk to your house? What if you have severe injuries? You could get home and DIE, Abby."  
  
Abby was about to respond, but was suddenly interrupted by an intense dizziness. Abby knew that if she didn't sit down in the next few seconds, she was going to pass out. So she stumbled over to the couch and threw herself down. Carter immediately sat down beside her.  
  
Just then, Haleh entered the lounge. "How's she doing?" she asked Carter.  
  
"She still wants to go home," Carter told her. Hey, I'm right here, Abby wanted to say. But somehow, she couldn't get her mouth to form the words. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about the pain. She could hear Carter and Haleh talking, but their voices sounded like they were coming from very far away.  
  
"What should we do?" Haleh said.  
  
"As long as she's conscious, we can't admit her against her will." Of course, Haleh already knew this, but Carter was just thinking out loud.  
  
Haleh looked over at Abby, who had her eyes closed and was moaning softly. "IS she conscious?"  
  
Carter called her name softly. She mumbled something incoherent. He opened her eye and looked at her pupil. "Semi. Let's get her checked in. Get the gurney." Haleh hustled down the hall to retrieve the gurney, and returned quickly. Abby still had her eyes closed, but now she was silent. Carter picked her up and put her on the gurney. He lifted her shirt. "Oh, my God," he breathed, looking at her stomach. 


	6. Seeking

Chapter 6  
  
When Abby first woke up, she wasn't quite sure where she was. She was laying in a strange bed, and under unfamiliar sheets. She turned in bed groggily, and noticed that she didn't feel any pain. She suddenly remembered laying down and falling asleep on the couch in the lounge, and realized she must be in the hospital. With a groan, she turned over in bed.  
  
"So, you're finally awake."  
  
Abby jumped. She hadn't realized there was anyone else in the room. But in fact, Carter had been sitting right beside her bed.  
  
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he said, touching her arm. She realized that he must know what had happened. Is he mad? she wondered, trying to gage his reaction. But his face was expressionless.  
  
"Abby, what happened?" She knew the question was inevitable, but now, here it was. She didn't want to tell him, though. She had no idea how he would react. So she tried to stall.  
  
"W-what do you mean?" she stammered.  
  
Carter looked at her, and she immediately felt guilty. There was no point in playing games like this; she might as well tell him the truth.  
  
Abby took a deep breath. "That night, after I left the hospital, I- I got mugged," she looked down at the sheets, not wanting to see his reaction.   
  
Carter's jaw dropped. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly, and Abby felt even worse.  
  
"I- I don't know," Abby said, and then, she did the worst thing she could have possibly done. She started crying. She tried to get herself to stop, but she couldn't. She had been trying to bury her fears after the mugging, and now they all came spilling out.  
  
Carter wrapped his arms around her and gently stroked her hair. "I'm so sorry, Abby. I'm really sorry that this happened to you," he said, which of course just made her cry harder.   
  
"I'm sorry," she said, wiping her eyes. She was mad at herself for falling apart like this. She didn't want Carter to think she was trying to rope him back into a relationship with her by using her emotions.  
  
"You don't have to apologize," Carter said, still holding her. He felt terrible about what had happened. He couldn't imagine what she had been going through these past few days. And then, to top it all off, her so-called boyfriend cornered her on the roof and accused her of drinking! "I'm the one who should be apologizing. I'm sorry for accusing you of drinking. I didn't know-"  
  
"It's not your fault. I should have told you what happened," Abby said in a trembling voice, finally managing to staunch the flow of tears. Carter wrapped his arms around her more tightly, engulfing her. He hadn't been there for her last time, but now he wanted to do whatever he could to protect her.  
  
The two of them sat like that for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Then Carter took Abby's chin in his hand, tilting her face upward so she had to look at him. "Are you okay?" he asked her sincerely.  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. The ribs'll take a few weeks to heal, but-"  
  
"You know that's not what I meant," Carter chided.  
  
Abby took a deep breath. "I think so," she said. She leaned her head on his chest. "I was scared that you'd be mad about this," she confided.  
  
"Mad?" Carter was confused. "Why would I be mad?"  
  
"Cause I didn't tell you. And for what I said at my apartment. I'm really sorry about that, too."  
  
"It's okay; I know you were hurt, and being in pain can make you say crazy things." Carter paused for a moment. He knew there was one thing left for him to ask. "Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"I just wanted this whole thing to not have happened. I know it's stupid, but I thought that maybe if I didn't say anything, it would all go away. It was so stupid, me going out at night by myself, but I...wanted things to be special for you." Not the tears again. Abby made a mental note to have her tear ducts surgically sealed off as soon as she felt better. She didn't like feeling like this, so out of control of her own emotions.  
  
Carter didn't say anything, just held her until she stopped crying. Once she had, she pulled away from him, embarrassed at her emotional display. She wiped her eyes and vowed to never cry again. Crying didn't solve anything, it just made your face blotchy.  
  
Carter looked at her, trying to decide what his next move should be. She was obviously trying to say that she wanted some space, but he didn't want to abandon her in her time of need. So he decided to let her make the next move. He simply sat there at her bedside, silent, waiting for her to act.  
  
Abby dried her eyes and reigned in her emotions. She needed to have a serious talk with Carter, not go off into emotional spasms like a hysterical bimbo. She removed the last of the tears from her face, and turned toward Carter.  
  
"John, I'm sorry that all this happened. I really am."  
  
"It's not your fault-"  
  
"No, let me finish. I know that I didn't go out and plan to be mugged, but I should have told you earlier what was going on, and I'm sorry that I didn't." Abby paused, not sure what to say next. So Carter stepped in.  
  
"Abby, we have to learn how to trust each other. Our whole relationship has just been like a big game of hide-and-seek: I hide from you, then you hide from me, then I find you and we start all over again. I don't want things to be like that anymore."  
  
Abby wasn't sure how to respond. Hiding was a way of life for her; she had done for as long as she could remember. All her life she had been afraid to trust anyone, afraid they would hurt her. She had been burned so many times, she had almost given up on having a normal relationship with anyone. She wasn't sure if she could stop hiding.  
  
Then she looked up into his eyes, the eyes she had fallen in love with. She saw in his eyes how much he loved her, how much he wanted her to trust him. Maybe things would be different with him. Maybe she could finally allow herself to love someone. She knew that she was taking a huge risk letting someone into her life like this, but maybe it was time to stop hiding.  
  
After a long silence, Abby said, "I don't want things to be like this anymore either. I love you, John. I don't want to hide from you anymore."   
  
Carter smiled at the sincerity on her face, the hope in her eyes. He knew that she was taking a big step in saying that, and he loved her for it. So he told her.  
  
"I love you too, Abby," he said sincerely. He took her hand. "Things are going to be different from now on," he said, but it was really a question.  
  
"Yeah, they are," Abby said, leaning on his shoulder. "They're going to be better."  
  
THE END  
  
A/N: Sorry for the cheesy ending, but who can resist good old-fashioned carby fuzz? If you haven't already, be sure and review. This is my first fanfic, so I'm eager to know what everyone thought. ~Taz 


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